wake up with swollen eyes
as if i just got a tattoo
and didn’t i really?
not hurt from truth
but hurt from doubt
the fear of being broken
broken like old vinyl
played perhaps a bit too much
full of life and yet…
only some songs play
or stop playing
right before the chorus
wake up for something new
broken means fixable
don’t know how to look
what is wrong with you
people will ask
when everything is right
have i even found the answer?
why do dreams like to flaunt
bobbing around in your face
daring you to take a swipe
but you think you won’t strike
why do dreams like taunt
with sparkling diamonds and dust
begging to be taken into your hand
so you can travel to unseen lands
why do dreams make you cry
when you try to attain them
when you feel like there’s only so much
you can do to make everything just
why do dreams make you smile
hoping with every little fiber in yourself
that they will someday find their way
straight to you so you don’t stray
why can’t those dreams be true
all on their own without any help
so all the pain you go through in trying
won’t end up in failing but instead flying
No matter how hard I try
no matter how much it hurts
no matter if it’s what’s right
and no matter if it’s worse…
There’s still that one forever
haunting my heart and mind
even if we’ll never be together
even if they’re always out of sight
Memories continue play on repeat
memories I silently beg to stop
memories that ache every heart beat
memories where I want to hit pause
Never knowing how to feel like this
never knowing it could hurt so much
never forgetting the feel of his kiss
and a fear of never getting over this drug
Having so many reasons to walk away
having so many reasons to hate
having no reason to ever stay
but having every reason to wake
Feeling imprisoned but free
feeling young but grown
feeling what you don’t feel…
feeling the love I’d never known
the soft wail of a saxophone
drifts through your ears
and into the soul
makes your chest swell
much like the player’s
art and own heart
a tune to tear
through the lungs
make salt sting cheeks
in every note
a melody to memorize
some dissonance unheard
for the ears of those
who bear to listen
exposure to something new
experiencing things you never thought you would
allowing yourself to trust the unknown
as you turn away from what you know
those are the things you remember
the memories you never want to let go of
perhaps shaping who you are the most
for who wants to turn down a chance to be amazed?
but what happens when those memories hurt,
when the thrill has combined with more?
when the smallest thing brings it all back
and you find your heart aching instead of flying?
that’s when you wonder if it it all was worth it…
stepping ever so gently
trying to not crack
the pristine reflection
a marred vision
and blurry hallucination
just a peek
and it can crumble
don’t let the tears
race down your cheek
to drip onto the sight
what you see
a moving picture
complete with flowers
and something like a hearse
to carry you away
a little too much weight
and you see a flaw
fake a smile
watch it crack
toe to heel
heel to toe
slowly ever you go
trapped inside, dark and cold
then you hear sun has come out
you bolt to the door, unable to contain–
so excited to witness its radiance
smiling brightly from ear to ear
glowing uncontrollably from head to toe
the sun illuminates every part of you
with just a single touch, a single call
once out in the sun, you can’t get enough
you sit there, allowing it to caress your skin
enjoying every moment it can share
only after do you see a mistake has been made
skin, bright red, scorched by the blinding light
heat emanates from the scarred tissue
it hurts, may peal, and can cause deadly things
despite all this, you can’t help but smile
you don’t regret sitting in the sun, loving it
you don’t regret having the sun as a companion
you don’t regret forgetting protection, the sunscreen
you don’t regret the red skin, for you know it fades
you don’t forget the effect the sun has on you
you’ll forever cherish every moment with the sun
you love it, and you’re sure it loves you back
even though some days it’s not there