perhaps it was how you smiled
perhaps it was how you teased in good humor
perhaps it was how you didn’t like hugs
perhaps it was how you walked with me
perhaps it was how I shouldn’t care for you
perhaps it was how you let me help you
perhaps it was how you tried to be better
perhaps it was how we were fast friends
perhaps it was how you waited for me
perhaps it was how we seemed to flirt
perhaps it was how you didn’t know
but perhaps it was how I hid it so
that perhaps maybe I liked you more and more
Love
i love/miss you
two words that hold
so much weight
the weight of two people
holding onto something
that feels all too real
a feeling of something missing
that seeing them can only cure
a random conversation
a thought of a smile
moments to imagine amidst
memories still turning
around and around
in a head and heart
just trying to keep it all
together
I Still Love You
I know I’ve made some dumb decisions
In the past.
I used to think there was no way for us
To last.
The time we had together was amazing
Though apart.
The moments that took you away are the ones
That broke my heart.
But baby, I still love you
More than I can say
I still love you
Even though I went astray
You’re still on my mind
More than half the time
And I still love you…
Do you still feel that way?
—
Gonna be a song! 🙂
love is…
love is a kiss,
in the moment but able to linger
long after the moment’s passed
love is remembering a phone number,
ingrained in every pore
without anyway of extraction
love is a piece of jewelry,
passed through generations
yet able to fit any time period
love is a dull needle,
unknowingly fatal so long
as it’s quietly piercing your heart
that one first kiss
Remember that night beneath the stars
with a trampoline beneath us
and nothing between our lips?
Remember when we sat playing cards
where tension sat between us
but where we stood was unknown?
Remember when I kissed you good bye
then accidentally said that
and you soft brushed me away?
Remember how you were the first guy
that I ever wrote a poem about
and am writing about again?
Remember how I couldn’t get over you
even though we were over
and nothing really started?
I remember it all…
It’s just strange to think
those emotions didn’t last
when I thought I fell in
so deep that getting over it
seemed impossible.
And now that I’ve again seen you,
that face I was in young love with,
it’s almost like nothing
ever happened… and then
I think of the night
we first kissed again.
return to normal
Grappling with my heart
in a vain attempt to persuade
it to stop beating like this…
As if nothing else can
ever make it pulse so strongly.
It will return to normal.
My heart still fights.
Struggling with time past
in a pointless attempt to forget
all that we’ve ever gone through…
As though forgetting was
ever an option, but required.
It will return to normal.
But time can’t erase.
Berating my mind and soul
in a fruitless battle–cause and effect–
As though I could’ve prevented
ever learning, knowing and doing.
It will return to normal
after I’m over you.
The Love I’d Never Known
No matter how hard I try
no matter how much it hurts
no matter if it’s what’s right
and no matter if it’s worse…
There’s still that one forever
haunting my heart and mind
even if we’ll never be together
even if they’re always out of sight
Memories continue play on repeat
memories I silently beg to stop
memories that ache every heart beat
memories where I want to hit pause
Never knowing how to feel like this
never knowing it could hurt so much
never forgetting the feel of his kiss
and a fear of never getting over this drug
Having so many reasons to walk away
having so many reasons to hate
having no reason to ever stay
but having every reason to wake
Feeling imprisoned but free
feeling young but grown
feeling what you don’t feel…
feeling the love I’d never known
What It Takes
What it takes
Is never what we expect
What it takes
Usually surprises us
What it takes
Could be nothing at all
What it takes
Can push us to our limits
Just to see how we cope
What it takes
Is everything we have
And everything we give
Even if we think we can’t
Give even one more thing
What it takes
To never give up
What it takes
To always remember love
not worthy
You’re not worthy
Of my love
But I love you anyway
You made choices
I could never be proud of
But I love you anyway
You never consider
What others need
But I love you anyway
I’m not worthy
To place judgement
yet you love me anyway
Kisses in the Rain
You gave me kisses in the rain
Those sweet September mornings where
It felt like no one else was there
Now that you’re going away
There’s nowhere for me to stay
Thought that I didn’t love you
Boy, I guess that I was wrong
We’ll have to keep going strong
—
At the request of Peter … this is part of the song that I wrote when I was 10. I can’t remember the first verse and now it’s driving me crazy!